Saturday, August 23, 2008

moving on

Can time stand still for just a minute?  

When you first get your kids, everyone says how much time will fly and you think, (ok, I thought) "I wish!"  When you're in the middle of diapers and goo and spit up and crying, and later when there are tantrums and fighting and stubbornness and violence- against- mothers, and later...  well, it just seems like time can't go fast enough.
But here I am looking at the last day that my daughter will be a kid.  Starting tomorrow she is a teenager.  In some cultures, an adult.  
Every older mother warns the new moms and every new mom ignores the older mother.  Time fly?  Are you kidding?

Well it has flew.  
I find myself now, before it is completely too late, hanging on to the moments.  Savoring them.  Staring at my children and trying to memorize them.
It's like trying to catch falling jello.  You can't stop it.  But I will make the most of the time I have left.  

And this brings up a pet peeve.  It drives me absolutely nuts when I mention having a teenager and other moms give me all these condolences and warnings.  Ok, maybe once again they know what they're talking about.  But on the other hand, it isn't very positive or encouraging.  Surely there are positive things about teenagers that people could focus on instead.  It's not as if I have any choice in the matter.  I will have to parent teens.  So can't those who've gone before encourage and cheer instead of shaking their head and tsking?
When I know a pregnant women, I don't tell her how dreadful labor will be.  When I see a woman with a two year old I don't give her horror stories about 3 and 4 year - olds!  

Anyway, enough of that.  
I am looking forward to the coming years.  I am eager to watch this amazing child develop into a grown woman.  I am fascinated by her and even though we are already seeing changes -- more time in her room on-the-phone, attitudes, etc -- they are a natural progression of independence.  All she's doing it trying to grow up.  And I really have no choice but to let her, even though I sometimes want her to be the cute little tyke she used to be.  There's no going back.  Forward Ho!


  1. Thanks Kay! So many people complain rather than share their awe about their changing children. I've loved each phase I've gone through with my kids (yeah some are hard, but we make it) and so many people just shake their heads and say wait until their teens. You are right - so wrong of them... I will be a lucky one to have kids at different ends of the spectrum. My daughter will be 2-3 months shy of being nine when the baby is born and I'm excited about it. My son will be 6.

    I always tell the exciting parts about giving birth - talk about the no epidural thing and tell people that I know they can handle because they are getting the best prize ever - its worth any discomfort you may go through because you get to be a MOM!

    When I was pregnant with my daughter I wasn't even worried about delivery, but I was worried about being a mom. I thought delivery at its worst could last a couple days, but motherhood goes on forever.

    I'm thrilled to be a mom - such an honor, responsibility and joy!

  2. Forward Ho!! I agree! I look forward to every season. Great post!! :)

  3. You are right that the good out weighs the not so good. And the phases of teenager hood are so fast and changing that you just feel a little off balance, but that's not anything new with kids. Tell my baby girl happy birthday! I can't believe! she is as old as she is!!! I held a 1month old baby yesterday...that used to be YOUR kids! I feel old (er) :)

  4. There are always those who tell the worried mothers-to-be how dreadful labor is--how it went on for 72 hours before they had to take the baby. There are always those parents who shake their heads at the mention of teenagers because they decided to give up and let them have their way.
    I love teenagers. Not the way they sometimes act but who they are in their struggle. They're up against such a brazen and sinful world. They need the love and stability of their moms and dads.
    Just as you described your hormonal experiences, they will be facing their own battles with them.
    The only steadying force is Jesus, a true relationship with Him so when the whole world seems to be against them, they know they can go to Him and find peace and comfort.
    It's hard to imagine being a teen today without Him. I was. It's not pretty.

  5. I do know women like that, those who have to *share* their labor stories with expectant mothers. My daughter, who is expecting, has heard many of them.

    One of the best things about having a teen is you get to watch her transform into womanhood. You also get to shop and share stories. One of the hardest things is releasing more parental controls and letting her have more freedom.

    In the end, no amount of warning will prepare you for having a teen. Not just the bad stuff, all of it. It rather is like labor. I think the process is as much for the parents as it is for the teens.
    Embrace it, just like you are, and you will do great.


I love to hear your thoughts!