glad that's over

Thirteen years ago today was a Thursday.  I wasn't having much fun.  I had been in the birthing center for nineteen hours already, in labor, but still not in hard labor.  Still not even dilated to a 4 (the point at which it's considered full labor)!

Her due date was the 7th.  Yes, the 7th.  Well, I wanted to do everything naturally.  I had a "plan."  No drugs, no interventions at all.   Let God do it His way, was my thought.

Well, the 7th came and went and they told me I had to go in and be induced about a week later, so I went in, they started contractions, but nothing more happened and they sent me home.

I insisted that I didn't want to be induced again, so I had to go in to the office every day and have a stress test, (for the baby, not me) and an ultrasound.  Finally on the 23rd they said that the amniotic fluid was diminishing; conditions in the womb were deteriorating and we couldn't wait any longer.  They wanted me to go in that evening to start the induction.  I still don't know why they couldn't have waited until morning!

So I went in and they started labor easily enough; I didn't even need the Pitocin. So I was awake all night having contractions and being excited.

The next day my nurse midwife, whom we loved, came in and was with me as much as she could be in spite of the fact that it was her day off and she was in the middle of divorce proceedings. (Turned out that she didn't even get paid for that day because she didn't get to do the delivery.  The one who delivers gets the money.)

Well, I won't go into details, but suffice to say, I had interventions.  I had things done to me I hadn't even heard of before.

I finally broke down and got the epidural, more out of exhaustion than anything else.  The pain wasn't severe, but it was so constant and I was worn out.  I was losing my ability to cope.

Then the baby's heart beat started dropping -- more interventions.  Finally I dilated to a 4 and for the first time the NM was able to evaluate the position of the baby.  She felt a nose.  Now, a baby is not supposed to be born nose first.  In fact it was impossible with the position she was in.

So 26 hours after I went into the Birth Center, my lovely, silly little girl was born via C-section.  She was the most pitiful looking thing I had ever seen.  In fact those were my first words to her. "Oh, you poor pitiful little thing."  She still has some tiny little scars on her face from her birth.  Her face was swollen and the Nurse Midwife warned me before they showed her to me so I wouldn't freak out.  

Now, this may seem like a horror story, but I never share it as one.  My point is that even with all I went through, it wasn't so bad.  A C-section isn't the end of the world.  She still got born. The whole thing was much harder on my family than it was on me.  Mostly, I was just tired!

So, now I have this lovely girl who has filled our life with thought provoking questions, deep insight, and wisdom.  She still likes to do things her own way.  She is her own person and has been since the moment I first lay eyes on her.  I knew then that she was wiser than I am.  I have never felt more intimidated in my life, I think.  She's a joy and a blessing and we are so grateful for our girl!