Wednesday, February 13, 2008
the things people say
I have been thinking about this post for a while and then yesterday I unintentionally added to it.
You know how there are things you have heard that you will never forget? Usually something somebody said to you or about you. Or maybe something shocking.
Yesterday while at a friend's house, I said a bad word. It wasn't bad in context, it was a derrogatory term and I was simply referring to it, not using it to refer to someone, if you know what I'm trying to say. But, still, I said it. And I was just oblivious to her two daughters sitting there. My friend gasped a little and her seven year old gasped a little and also, she got that little smile that kids get when someone else is in trouble, LOL. Then I just felt so bad! Oh my.
This was the same child whom my dog bit, by the way...
Anyway, later as I was thinking about it, I thought, "just let it go." Because I tend to beat myself up for dumb stuff like that. But then I thought about how it may not be that big of a deal, but there is a possibility that T will remember that her whole life! When I was about six or so, my aunt was walking through the house and she said s---. It was so shocking to my little self that I still remember it.
My point is that we all have things in our heads that were said by someone else. Whether good or bad.
Here are some of mine:
"Grandma used to think that maybe you were an actual angel because you were so good."
"Do you ever wonder if maybe you really are mental?" This person was brave enough to room with me for four years.
"Kay seems to be able to find beauty in almost anything."
"You could be really pretty if you let me give you a makeover." umm, there isn't a nice word to describe how this girl dressed.
"She's so self-confident." Ha. She's a good faker, that's what.
"Do you ever thank God for making you so beautiful?" How do you answer that?
"Your smile lights up the whole room."
"Move over, hefty."
"My husband thinks you are pretty." ummm, ok....
"You have a lot of insight and wisdom."
"You look like the kind of person who would smoke." What's that mean?
"My dad said you look like your face caught fire and someone put it out with a pitchfork."
Well, I think it's a big mistake for us to try to form our opinion of ourselves based on what other people say. No wonder people are so confused about who they are and their value!
What we need to cling to is what God says. And take the good that people say with grace and humility. Take the bad stuff the same way. Look for seeds of truth and change what we need to and move on. (Well, we can make that our goal, anyway)
Also, in light of LOVE, being nearly Valentine's Day, let's try to be conscious of our own words. We may say some little thing that doesn't mean much to us, but we never know which words are going to stick. Let's be intentional about leaving kind messages behind us. And if something hard must be said, make sure it's the truth and that it's well coated in love.
What about you? Will you share a little snippet or two that you store in your head?