Tuesday, June 10, 2008

speaking of flirting

I have it on good authority that all a woman has to do is speak to a man she doesn't know and she is flirting.

One time at the gym I saw a guy on a contraption that I hadn't seen before.  It wasn't a guy I was admiring; lets just get that straight from the beginning.  I asked him something about the machine -- how it worked or something, I don't remember.  He told me what I wanted to know, but he mentioned his wife like three times in the process.  It made me feel kinda weird, like I was some kind of female letch or something.  
So when I got home I told my husband about it and he said it was because I was flirting with him. I said, "I Was Not!"  And he said, "You talked to him didn't you?"  That's when it was explained to me that speaking politely to a male is flirting.  I have since then confirmed this information with a male friend of ours and my own dear dad.  Yes, they agree, initiating conversation with a man is indeed flirting.

I am a BIG Ol' Flirt then.  I had no idea!  So, for those of you who think you have forgotten how to flirt...I don't think so.  Apparently it takes very little skill.

Men, what do you say?  
Ladies?  Are you as shocked and appalled as I was, or did you know this already?


  1. Geez. I mean, come on! No kidding? Brother. You and me both then, Kay.

  2. I have it on good authority that any person with a penis is out to steal me away from my husband...cuz I'm the shiznack like that or something.
    And I too am apparently a big flirt because I find conversation a necessary part of obtaining information and all. It sucks because my crystal ball is still in the shop with no estimate of when it's going to be ready.

  3. The comment above may be my most favorite comment of all time.

    I asked my guy friends just now and they said that no, they woulnd't consider it flirting if a woman, in general, were to approach a guy and ask a question.

    But they all agreed that what you did, approaching a guy in a gym and asking a question, was flirting.

    I also wonder if it's generational thing. The guys my age wouldn't think another thing about it but maybe those a little older, because of the "rules" they were taught, might get a different idea.

    I really don't know...

  4. Big ole' flirt...we need to start a group

  5. Shocked and appalled? Yes, yes I am.

    A prisoner of hope,

  6. I asked my husband if it was flirting. He said no.

    I think flirting has to do with many things--dress, facial expression, flipping of hair, touching of an arm, and possibly blowing kisses under the guise of trying having a thoughtful expession. Did you blow kisses?

  7. oh, shoot, queen! That's what it was!! You know that funny little mouth twitch I used to have...

    Plus maybe the batting of the eyelashes...?

    Maybe it depends more on the particular man and his frame of reference???

  8. Think about it from a different point of view.

    If the guy is stuck on himself, it's flirting. Because he assumes all women want him even if he hasn't had a date in 10 years.

    If he's like me, therefore clueless as to the whims of women, then it's never flirting unless the woman says something overt like - oh I don't know ... "Hey stupid, I'm flirting with you."

    I have had women approach me and say something I considered completely within the context of the situation only to have my friends say "You dummy, she was flirting with you. Why didn't you ask her out?"

    The point is flirting is in the eyes of the particular guy. For some, it's as little as any sort of attention whatsoever. This explains why some men give large tips to waitresses who pretend to flirt.

    For others it takes a marriage proposal.

    On the other hand, I've heard women can tell if another woman is flirting with a guy 100 percent of the time.

  9. Dayle,
    I had the same thought. Maybe guys who are stuck on themselves, or perhaps really desperate?
    I've seen the same scenario on TV or movies. A girl says something that to me is totally innocent and the guys all perceive it as flirting. Then it turns out that she WAS flirting and I guess I am not a woman who can tell 100% of the time if another is flirting.
    I'm a bit clueless, too. In fact I'm planning a post on that.

  10. I think it depends on the women as well! I was told by several of my friends when I was younger that I was a big flirt..but most that did call me that had a hard time just saying hello to anyone that was a boy.

  11. Kay, I too talk to people men and women that I don't know sometimes to ask a question other times to just be friendly and I've NEVER considered myself a flirt. I do tend to talk more easily to male strangers in the over 65 crowd because I assume they aren't going to confuse my intentions.

  12. One time when I was a young woman, many years ago, I decided to see what would happen if I just started smiling at this one guy at my job. I didn't say a word, just smiled and boy oh boy! That's all it took and he thought I was ready to be his girlfriend.

  13. I think it says something about the male ego. Oh brother!

    Good thing we know the rules now. :) LOL.

    So I guess smiling and being friendly is out then?


I love to hear your thoughts!