Tuesday, August 7, 2007

why do i care?

When I was a kid/teen, I didn't go along with the crowd very much. In fact I usually went against prevailing opinions. The Broncos are the team of choice around here, and when I was in Jr High they played the Super Bowl against the Cowboys. Well, I chose to cheer for the Cowboys. Just to be different.

I still tend to avoid trends and bandwagons. I shudder at over-used sayings.

The weird thing is that I have always been such a people-pleaser. Doesn't make sense. I want them to like me. Care way too much about what people think, but deliberately go against the grain.

Lately, I have been more tempted to go along with the crowd that I used to be. I'm referring to the post on speeding. When faced with that same stretch of road again, I decided to just go with the flow of traffic, rather than worry about what the speed limit is. But immediately I felt convicted about that. To decide to do the wrong thing just because everyone else is doing it? Isn't that exactly what we are trying to teach our kids Not To Do? What is wrong with me?

Well, what's wrong is: I care way too much about what people think of me. Absolute, total strangers. It upsets me no end to know that people are judging me, disliking me, because I am slowing down traffic.

Why do I care what strangers think of me?

It's not just strangers, of course. I care what you think, too. I'm a doggone puppy. " Love me love me love me. Tell me I did good. Tell me tell me tell me. Approve approve approve!"


God has been really working on me about this. But it isn't easy, for sure.

I know that I need to treat people with compassion and kindness. But the motive should not be to earn their approval!

I'm trying to learn to not care what people think. I would love to loose all those inhibitions. I believe I would still be kind and everything, but the motive would be right and I wouldn't have all the anxiety about whether or not I am acceptable.

Ok, so this is way personal, and I've thrown it right out there all over my blog. But I know that I am not the only person who deals with this. I believe it is one of the devil's favorite tactics to keep us locked up.

Because the question is-- Where do I get my worth? If everyone in the world despised me, would that mean I had no value?

Another question is -- If I care more about what people think than what God thinks, who am I serving?

So, I don't care whether you like me or not. Whether or not you approve of me.

Ok, well, actually, I do care. But I'm trying to learn to not care more than I should.


  1. I can totally relate to your post, Kay....reading it was like having deja vu. Your words are almost exactly the things that I write in my journal. I wish there was an easy answer; a 12-step program or something to assist in getting to the point where it really doesn't matter who likes you or what people think. Press on to the mark, though, because ultimately what matters is what God thinks of you. I want to hear Him say "well done, good and faithful servant." That will be worth it!

  2. I struggle with this too, Kay. And I am striving not to make my daughter have this same struggle, but I see things cropping up in her. I will keep trying to please God most of all...

  3. I too understand what you are dealing with...

    We MUST find our worth in Jesus Christ alone because nothing else will last or stand the test of time. We have to let go of this world and the hold it has on us and focus on eternity where we won't wonder for a second about our value because we will be in HIS presence.


I love to hear your thoughts!