Wednesday, January 9, 2008

belonging

I don't belong here.
I don't belong there, either.
I used to belong. I belonged to a church, a Sunday school class, a Bible Study (or two), the community at the kids' school, a circle of friends.
Now, I no longer belong in my old places, but I don't belong anywhere here yet, either. I have met some people. Have some beginning friendships going, I think. I go to a Bible study, a prayer group and a writers' group. But I still don't have that feeling of "belonging". I am going to "their" study, "their" groups.
I don't really feel like I belong at the church we may end up choosing. Or at the school.
I guess this is a normal part of moving, but I don't like it one bit. Feeling like I'm on the outside looking in.
And my son hates school. He cried again today about going. He really doesn't want to go. The kids here are mean, he says. He's had a lot of bullying at this school.
My daughter didn't like it at first, but I think she's doing better now.
I'm having a hard time adjusting to this district and their way of doing things, too. Its a huge district and the schools are very big. The elementary schools are four times bigger than the one we went to before. They have a lot of weird rules and it seems very impersonal and cold, to me.
The county doesn't do a very good job with snow removal.

Ok, yeah, I'm not in a good mood.

People do seem friendly here. The traffic is better by far! I don't get the rudeness in stores and the pushiness that I did in our other town. I like our house and where we live. I like being closer to the stores that I need. I like being close to a big city, even if I never go there -- I can if I want.
I keep thinking that in a year I will be feeling like I live here. Feeling at home and having some wonderful relationships, a church, and a purpose.

Thanks for listening. I feel a bit better already.

9 comments:

  1. I do find that when my children are doing well and are enjoying life then I am happy as well. Hearing how your son is makes me want to cry! I will be praying that you all adjust quicker and new friends come your way!!

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  2. I'm so sorry you're feeling down today. I sincerely hope things will start getting better soon, for your son and for you.

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  3. I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Transitions like moves are hard on everyone. I hope things feel better soon. Hugs to you!

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  4. Hi Kay,

    Moving is hard on everyone. Praying that the adjustments come and that you all begin to feel at home as much as you can on this old earth. There will come a day when we are no longer pilgrims, but we ARE home - how exciting that will be.

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  5. Poor kid. My boys miss him a lot. I'm sure it will all work out, but I know it's hard to move.

    Hang in there....

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  6. I still feel that way here. Some of these people have been in the area for two years longer than forever! If I went home I would be new there also. School will get better once he gets a bud. Tell him I say Hi and to be okay.
    xoxoxo

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  7. Hey, stop that. You belong to our writers group and we missed you yesterday. (We went to Lighthouse, which is open again.)

    I know moving is hard. I'll be praying for you. ((h))

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  8. Are you familiar with Sara Groves song "Painting Pictures of Egypt"?

    "I'm painting pictures of Egypt
    leaving out what it lacked
    but the future looks so hard and I want to go back

    but the places that used to fit me
    can not hold the things I've learned
    and those roads were closed off to me
    when my back was turned"

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