Wednesday, July 16, 2008

i don't want to be perfect

I keep telling myself that. But it is not the truth. I really, really would like to be perfect. It seriously distresses me that there are imperfections in me. Seriously.

But here's the thing... Have you ever been around someone who seems perfect? Perfectly dressed, not a hair out of place, not a misspoken word. Just perfect. Beautiful, thin, all that.
Did you feel totally relaxed and comfortable in her presence? When you visit someone's home, do you feel more comfortable if it is spotless and perfect or if there are a couple of dirty dishes in the sink, a stack of mail on the table, and other signs that people live there?

Once I knew a lady who seemed that way at first. Just too put together. I felt very intimidated. Then one day, I noticed that her shirt was missing a button. Oh, how I rejoiced in that missing button! She is just human after all! She is not perfect. She is just like me. She is just a woman like me, doing the best she can! Turns out she is a beautiful woman inside as well as out and if I had let my intimidation keep me from relating to her, I would have missed that. I would have missed so much!

It occurred to me that maybe in my attempts to look perfect, I was doing the same thing. When I work so hard on what I'm wearing and how I look and act, am I making myself seem unapproachable? Too perfect? (Stop laughing!!) My goal should always be to look friendly and welcoming.

So, here are the lessons:
- Nobody is perfect. We are all flawed and some of us try very hard to seem perfect, even to be perfect, but we never succeed.
- How much of what we do is about impressing others? And is it worth it? Do we try too hard and come across as intimidating and unapproachable instead?
- Don't let yourself be intimidated by others. They are just flawed people doing the best they can. Most would be mortified if they knew they intimidated you. Others get a power surge from being intimidating. Those aren't the people I'm talking about. I have no idea what to do with them.

What I'm not saying:
- I'm not saying there is anything wrong with wearing nice clothes, makeup, being fashionable and all that. I guess it is about our motives for how we look. Dress to Impress is a book, I think, but I'm not sure its the right mindset for our day to day lives.
- I'm not saying that everyone who looks nearly perfect has the wrong mindset. I don't know that the lady I mentioned is trying to be perfect. Maybe she just wants to look gorgeous. A lot of this has to do with my own insecurities and how I view other people.


  1. Kay, when I saw the title of today's post my first thought was - I do, but it's not going to happen...

    Great post and so true. I've had the same discussions with friends as what you shared. We are more comfortable around people who don't appear perfect, people who have things to work on like us.

    Thanks for sharing!

  2. Thanks for sharing these great thoughts. All God requires of us is to be ourselves. Perfection is a cover up. We are beautifully imperfect and God loves us anyway. Aren't you glad He doesn't wait for us to be perfect, or even a 9.95. He loves us even when we're a mess.

  3. I just think you should have told me I had a button missing!!

    I really do crack myself up sometimes!!!!

  4. Excellent post! I am so far from perfect. I think that when we get too big for our britches then that is when pride comes in..and then God resists us...we wonder why things are going so badly!! I do not want God to resist me..I want to be real. My house isn't always clean...I do have bad breath at times..and my kids do fight. lol


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