Sunday, July 20, 2008

church frustrations

As of July 1st, we've lived here one year.  One year and we are still trying to find a church.
One friend told me that if you find a church that has a strong outreach, strong Biblical teaching, etc, etc, then you just go there.  I don't really disagree with that.  But I also think that God has a specific place for people.  I believe that when we seek Him, He will put us in the house, in the neighborhood, in the school, church, job, etc that is the very best for us.  Best for us to learn grow, and minister.  
So, anyway.  We have been to some good churches.  Churches with good stuff.  But somehow in none of them do we really feel like we belong.  

The one we've been going, to my husband loves.  And that is a huge thing.  Do you know how hard it is for men to go to church?  For some reason, it is very tough.  My dad usually doesn't go to church.  My uncle doesn't go. I don't think my other uncle went (did he, Queen?).  My husband has gone through phases of not attending, as well.  And in almost 15 years of marriage, we have only been to two churches that he actually likes.  I'm not sure what the problem or the solution is for men and churc, but to find one that my man likes likes is a wonderful thing.

My son likes, it too, and that's unusual.  But... my daughter can't stand it, although she does need to give it another chance after the new Youth Pastor starts.  And me?  I'm indifferent.  I have felt indifferent about almost all of the churches we've tried.  There have been a couple that I liked, but the other three didn't.  So...

For now, we will keep going to the one we have been.  But in the meantime we do want to visit another that we haven't tried.  I have been so looking forward to it, and of course I get my hopes up that this will be the one we all love.  The one where we fit.  But today there was sickness in the family so we didn't even go.  

So, as my cousin said.  Not all blogs have to be exciting.  Sometimes I just need to write about the mundane.  It did help to talk to you guys about it, though.  Thanks!


  1. Imagine how I feel. I am a Christian of the Anglican tradition and have to either attend an Episcopal church in the small town in which I live, or travel an hour (one-way) to attend a more theologically conservative Anglican church. So, for now I attend the local one because I believe in community which is easier to do locally, duh. But, as you know the Anglican Communion is having a lot of in-fighting with liberal versus conservative theologies. I am a man, by the way and have no problem attending church.

  2. I have enjoyed my church..till last Sunday. seems so SMALL..and so unable to get away feel! :)

  3. Three and a half years ago my husband and I left the church where we had been ministering for six years (he was full time as music and associate pastor & I was involved in a variety of things in the church). The church had called a new pastor who had very different expectations and plans for ministry than our previous pastor whom we had worked with so happily for such a long time. It was a very hard time in our lives. After a long struggle while we just randomly visited a variety of churches, we finally found one that we liked and felt we could get involved. We joined and attended there for about a year. At the end of that time we realized that we did not feel comfortable in getting involved. It was a wonderful church, but it didn't seem to be right for us.

    We searched again and found our small church here in Loveland. In looking at the possibility of joining this church, we saw there was tremendous need for help in areas where we had a lot of experience. We believed this is where the Lord wanted us, and we have been serving there for over a year. My husband leads the music and choir and helps in the teaching ministries of the church--sometimes he preaches and is now teaching the young people's class in Sunday School. I play the piano, plan and practice with the special numbers,help plan events in the church and help in teaching the children through the school year on Thursday nights.

    It's all good. God has been good to allow us to be involved in ministry again after a difficult period.

    So for us, the right place was where we could serve God the best. Just a thought.

  4. Obviously, Kay, you know the answers to the question of why it is your husband and son like this particular church and why you, and maybe your daughter, don't particularly feel like it's "the one" for you. It's an important question for each of you and maybe upon closer examination, you'll come up with something meaningful.

    We've had to leave our last two churches where we served--my husband was on the board at both of them. The pastors were younger men, and in the end they lacked wisdom and humility.

    Our current pastor is a wise veteran and one of the most humble men I've ever known. He "gets" it: it's all God.

    I doubt this helped you much. I'm sorry if it turned out to be rambling mush.

  5. Anonymous - I know. I shouldn't have made a blanket statement about men, but I've known a lot of them who don't attend church. I hope you can find what you need, soon.

    Mel - I'm sorry. Please tell me about your meeting.

    Qotw - Yes, I think that the serving aspect may be part of it. But I'm really unsure about what I'm supposed to be doing in that arena right now, too.

    Nicole - I love comments even if they are mush! But this was helpful. I haven't given a whole lot of thought as to "why." I've felt the same way about almost every church we've visited. The only real questioning I'e done is to ask "Is it me, Lord? Does the problem lie somewhere in me?" I'll give some more thought to the "whys".

  6. I don't think this is a mundane topic, but one so many struggle with.

    Jubilee is starting up a satellite church in Parker this Fall. We are going to try that out. The mother church so big right now.

    I'll pray that you find just the right fit for the entire family.

  7. As one who has moved a lot and moved alone, I completely understand the difficulty of finding a good church. I've always told people that getting involved is the way to make it your home church. But I was pretty involved in a church for about a year and ended up leaving because it just wasn't a good fit.

    I'm sorry. I know how frustrating this must be. I'll send one up to the Father for ya!

  8. Praying that you find a church home!

  9. Kay:

    Maybe you're there because your husband needs it. Maybe you're saving him and your son right now. While it might be boring for you, maybe in the big picture they are getting what they need to move on to another church later.

    You're saving souls. Who better than your family's?

    Sounds preachee...but I don't mean it that way. Sometimes women get God easier. Like teaching someone to swim. We hold their hands and hope they get it...right?

    Keep holdin' on! You're doing your job!

  10. Some times we are looking for what we want and not what God wants for us. It's a blessing and interesting that your husband and son likes the church. Many times we compare new with old.


I love to hear your thoughts!