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Because it matters to me. I want to do His will. I want to be where He wants me to be, doing what He wants me to do, how He wants me to do it.
I'm a believer that God has specifics in mind for us. That He has a "best" for me.
I want the best.
So I've wrestled a lot with trying to find it.
But then I got this little picture in my head:
A father takes his daughter for a walk through a deep and tangled wood. "Stay close, follow me," he says. Then he runs and hides.
God wants us to know His will. He's not hiding from us. He's not making it obscure as some kind of test.
"Let's just see how badly she wants this."
No. We want to be in His will. He wants us to be in His will. Could it be any simpler?
Yet, it's complicated. But I don't think the complications come from Him.
The devil would love for us to be far out of God's will, so I'm sure he tries to confuse things, but our hearts are in the right place and he can't do anything about that.
I think the biggest complication comes from our own flesh. Our doubts. Our insecurities. "Surely God wouldn't ask me to do that. Doesn't He know my limitations?"
The thought I've had before is that I don't doubt God's ability to reveal His will, but I doubt my ability to see it.
Maybe there's some truth to that. Maybe not. Maybe if we just keep walking, with our eyes on Him, we'll find ourselves in His will. We see a door, we take it. We hear a suggestion, we heed it. Keep walking.
If we approach the wrong door, He'll close it. He won't chide us. "I can't believe she thought I wanted her to do that!" He knows our hearts are for Him and He will see that we end up where we need to be.
That I have no turmoil or angst about.
Or better yet, what if we just hop on his back? Let Him do the walking? We just hang on for the ride?
Still, I know I'll go through it again. I know I haven't got the "keep walking" or the piggy back ride down. But maybe I'm getting closer?