Sunday, June 19, 2011

it ain't easy being a dad
I don't know what it's like to be a father, obviously. But fathers and fathering are on my mind today.

Seems like dads get the bum rush on this day set aside to honor them. "Dads should step up." "We love our dads but they really could do better." That kind of thing. Have you noticed?

I think that dads are great. Not all of them, but not all moms are great either and we tend to overlook that fact on Mother's Day. Why can't we over look the rotten dads on Father's Day? Why can't we just praise the dads who are doing the hard work and being the best fathers they can?

Moms have maternal instinct, making it natural for us to do what we do. It drives us to nurture and listen and participate in our children's lives.

Ever heard of paternal instinct? I guess it exists, but I think it takes the form of providing and protecting. Dad's are wired to love their families, but they show it differently. They love us by taking care of us from a distance.

That's why I think that every dad who makes an effort to engage on a relational level deserves special thanks. Every dad who spends time with his kids, who listens to them, who shares with them, deserves honor.

Being that kind of dad may not come naturally. Maybe it involves intention. Maybe it involves choosing.

Maybe I'm wrong (I don't mind if some of you guys want to correct me). I'm just thinking about how our dad's dads were compared with dads of today.

Either way, I think being a dad is hard work. Seems like we keep raising the bar. Demanding more of them before they qualify as a "good" dad.

I think we should get rid of the double standard: every mom is fabulous and no dad measures up. On Facebook and Twitter this morning I've seen it. Men admonishing other men to be better dads. Women saying thank you, but tagging on the request for more.

Why can't we just say thank you?

Thank you, dad, for going beyond, for being a part of our lives.
Thank you, hubby, for being intentional about spending time with our kids.
Thank you, all you dads. The world needs you. Thank you for what you do.


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. That's sweet and I agee with your thoughts. When the feminine movement took hold, part of the plan was to make men more sensitive, cry, help with the housework, change the diapers. Nothing wrong with a man doing those things but I think our society has developed a desire to keep men down and elevate "liberated" women.
    I believe God has a role for men and a role for women. I think our country will have to realize that and repent. Perhaps our men today have to prove themselves "manly" and end up doing bad things to other people. End of lecture. Mom


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