Now though, I kinda feel popular. I feel liked and that's really a nice feeling. It makes me want to pull a Sally Fields--"You like me! You really like me!"
I am blessed to have many friendships on many different levels.
Everything from Facebook friends I've never met to close Bosom Friends.
I'm one of those people who has several very close friends. Some people prefer one or two but I'll take as many as I can get. Each one is my best friend and each one is loved as if they were the only one.
I'm a relational person and I love all of these relationships. But there's a dark side.
Apparently you can take the girl out of Middle School, but you can't take Middle School out of the girl.
I told my friend about a coffee shop I like, so she went to check it out--with another friend. They didn't think I would be able to go, so they didn't even ask. I was hurt and a little angry.
Another time a friend and I met to write, but didn't invite friend number three. So number three was horribly hurt, and little angry.
This friend talks to that friend more than me. That friend had lunch with this friend.
I have a monthly movie-watching date with one friend and other friends are jealous...
I never had to deal with this before.
I didn't know it would be so hard at this age. I had imagined that by midlife we would all be secure and mature and past all this.
But we all want to be liked. We all want to be the favorite. We all want to know that our friendships are sound and firm.
I am working on feeling secure. Letting go. Learning to not feel threatened when my friends have other friendships.
It seems silly to me that I struggle with this, but I know that I am not the only one. It's nice to have yet one more area where we relate. We all go through so many of the same things.
And learning how to handle friendships is a blessing. I wouldn't trade the lessons or the friends for anything in the world.