The other day my husband and I were grocery shopping and he said, "You're in this lady's way."
I said, "I don't care." And I didn't even care if she knew that I didn't care.
Sometimes I feel like I could kick puppies and steal candy from small children. Pop a kid's balloon like Gru in Despicable Me. Say what I think without giving a flip what anyone else thinks like Ouiser in Steel Magnolias.
Some days, the most frequent words out of my lips are "I don't care." Because I don't.
I kinda enjoy my villainous feelings when I have them. That's because villains like that kind of thing. I could wring my hands and mwahahahaha with glee. Sometimes I want to throw in the towel and embrace the side of me that would crush everyone who irritated me. Destroy them with a glare or a precisely aimed barb. I could do it!
I gave my life to Jesus when I was nine years old. I can't say there was a grand transformation or anything like that. My life didn't take a huge and drastic turn. I didn't leave a life of debauchery to follow Christ.
But I can say that without His presence in my life I would be a fairly nasty person. Maybe not as awful as I think, but I do have a yucky, selfish part that likes to rise up from time to time. A part that would be pretty ugly without the fruit of Kindess gracefully grown by the Holy Spirit. It get's bad enough as it is.
But thank God that He reins me in. He reigns. I have fully given myself over to Him and He knows that no matter what my flesh may desire, my heart desires Him.
Still, I have my bad days. The only thing I can advise if you catch me on one of those days: stay out of my way!