The other day my husband and I were grocery shopping and he said, "You're in this lady's way."
I said, "I don't care." And I didn't even care if she knew that I didn't care.
Sometimes I feel like I could kick puppies and steal candy from small children. Pop a kid's balloon like Gru in Despicable Me. Say what I think without giving a flip what anyone else thinks like Ouiser in Steel Magnolias.
Some days, the most frequent words out of my lips are "I don't care." Because I don't.
I kinda enjoy my villainous feelings when I have them. That's because villains like that kind of thing. I could wring my hands and mwahahahaha with glee. Sometimes I want to throw in the towel and embrace the side of me that would crush everyone who irritated me. Destroy them with a glare or a precisely aimed barb. I could do it!
I gave my life to Jesus when I was nine years old. I can't say there was a grand transformation or anything like that. My life didn't take a huge and drastic turn. I didn't leave a life of debauchery to follow Christ.
But I can say that without His presence in my life I would be a fairly nasty person. Maybe not as awful as I think, but I do have a yucky, selfish part that likes to rise up from time to time. A part that would be pretty ugly without the fruit of Kindess gracefully grown by the Holy Spirit. It get's bad enough as it is.
But thank God that He reins me in. He reigns. I have fully given myself over to Him and He knows that no matter what my flesh may desire, my heart desires Him.
Still, I have my bad days. The only thing I can advise if you catch me on one of those days: stay out of my way!
I'm sure you'll be surprised to hear that I have my villainous days as well. My husband used to tell me I was in the way when I walked into a grocery and took my own sweet time getting my two young kids settled in the cart. I'd tell him, "These other people don't have to go to the grocery store with small children, so they can just go around me." I'm afraid I still fall into similar attitudes though I don't have to arrange toddlers in a cart anymore. I, too, am thankful for grace and the slow-growing fruit of kindness.
ReplyDeleteI'm very surprised, Evangeline!
DeleteYes, I haven't been able to blame toddlers for quite some time. And it goes way back to long before I would even consider having kids. Ah well. We all have our flaws.
At work sometimes when something goes wrong or if a difficult person calls/come into the office and needs help, we say tell him it's Judy's fault or send a message and sign it "Judy." Of course Judy has been gone from our office for about five years now--she retired. Poor Judy. She doesn't even know we blame her. I guess the only real result from blaming her is to make us laugh. And then we take care of the problem or take the blame ourselves. Maybe there are times you should come up with some imaginary toddlers. Like, "Where are those stinkers Phoebe and Michael? If they hadn't run off I wouldn't be in these people's way? Those naughty, naughty kids!" Paula
DeleteYou people are despicable! Why, if I ever acted like the bunch of youz guyz, I would be put in jail!
DeleteJust kidding...I'm one of ya. I think for me, I often feel powerless. Things are going wrong, I can't control my day, I get kinda bitchy. That's the truth of it.
Evil people have power. They aren't liked, they just have power. They are looked upon as strong. People scurry to get out of their way. So, when I need to feel strong, I borrow a little Snidely Whiplash to make myself feel better.
BTW, Kay, you DID live a life of debauchery before you were a Christian--you just don't remember it. Mwahahahahaha
(JK again)