Showing posts with label new attitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new attitude. Show all posts

Friday, May 16, 2008

giving up the fight


If you've been reading my blog long, or if you know me in person, you know that I have not particularly wanted to be a writer.
I have always loved reading and have always had story ideas in my head, but have never really liked putting the pen to paper.  I don't keep a journal regularly or write letters.  I got bad grades on all of my compositions and essays and such in school.

But...God has called/directed/guided me to write this story.  I have always said that I am willing to do whatever He wants me to.  But being willing and doing something willingly are apparently two different things.  I can do it and still fuss and whine.  I guess that's not really the right way.

I have always asked Him to use me to do things that are bigger than myself.  To do things through me that go beyond my own capabilities.  I would say this is one of those things.  This is an answer to prayer.  Because when this book gets finished, it will be a miracle!

So, I am giving up the fussing and whining.  I am going to write a novel.  Probably another one after that.  And a next one, too, if that's the way it goes.  And I am going to do it with an eager and joyful spirit.  I am declaring this for all of the world to read.  So if you catch me whining. If you hear me say, "I never even wanted to write a book."  Then remind me that I am no longer fighting it.  Remind me that I have decided to embrace this new part of my life with gladness.

It is hard work.  I have been shocked at how difficult it is.  And it is frightening because to really write, I have to put myself into it and be vulnerable in new ways.  And to learn to separate myself from my work when it comes to rejections, etc, will be a difficult thing to do.  Is it even possible?

Anyway.  I am a writer.  I am writing a novel and I am going to have  blast doing it!  
There, how's that?